Tomorrow I will play the doubles semi-final, postponed from today when it rained all day long. Hopefully we’ll play tomorrow two matches. On Sunday I have to go back to Boca Raton, so I will have to fly again, because the qualifying draw for the next tournament is starting on Monday.

This week has been quite a tough one. I haven’t got used with the conditions and the clay felt faster than the one I played in January. Before the singles match I was not at my best, in the sense that I did not feel the game very well, but I hoped that eventually I would find a solution to adapt. However, being alone and quite emotional, I did not find my game and did not know how to do that. So, the end result was poor compared to what I feel that I could normally do.

The next day was even harder, like always when I’m returning on the court after a loss. I went through many emotional states before the doubles match, but also after it. I reached the tie-break of the deciding set, I had about 5 match points and I couldn’t finish off the match. Thanks to my partner, Dia Evtimova, we closed the match and won it: 15-13 in the decider. But we lost the semi-final 11-13 in another super tie-break, after a pretty good match that I made and after a day and a half of waiting.

Many mixed feelings after this tournament and, above all, anger.

I know I can play better than that and I want to do it more often.
But as they say, we learn more from defeats than after wins. And this time, I feel like I have to stay in the present. To enjoy every moment, knowing that I am where I need to be now. It is my duty to work, to be ambitious, to give my best on the court, but I cannot control the future or the place in the ranking, because I meet players who have the same goals. The difference between us is small and it is not in the amount of work done – at least not as far as I am concerned – but in many other aspects, all very important. About some of them I have written, about others I will do it in the future. So if I manage to take each week apart and stay in the present, just thinking about the match, the game, the set and the point I’m playing at that moment, I think I will be proud of what I’m doing.

The next day I took a morning flight to the next location, Boca Raton, or better said back to where I left off. I was planning to do a conditioning workout, but it rained here too, so all I had left was to do a work out in the parking lot of the apartment where I live.

They scheduled me in the first match at 9 o’clock, but it started raining again. I haven’t been able to do any training at the club, so it will be strange to play the first game without any kind of accommodation. But as I said in another article, if I am physically well, I can cope in any conditions.

We didn’t play any matches on Monday as it rained all day. It was a long one, the supervisor was rescheduling us many times and I had to check every half hour when the next information was available. My match was postponed for 11.00, then 12.30, 13.30, 14.30, 15.30 and 17, and when we came to the club for the third time we were told that they had canceled the matches for the whole day and would reschedule two rounds the next day. I didn’t play on green clay on Monday either, but I did an hour-long practice in the raindrops on a hard court and a fitness training on the treadmill.

On Tuesday they rescheduled my match on the third position on the order of play. I finished the first round of qualies around 15:30, after beating an unranked junior from America, and I started the second one around 21:30 after other interruptions and waiting caused by the rain. I played pretty well – especially in the second set – even though I lost it. High level from both, in tough conditions: wind, rain and another interruption due to a power failure. And above all, I played the first round of doubles on Friday. It was a pleasure to be on the court with Gabi Talabă Lee, my friend and partner since I was 16 years old.

The last tournament in these series is coming up and I hope my game will get better.

With Gabriela Talabă Lee