How do you balance your free time with work, or in other words, do you know when to stop and listen to your body or your mind? This has been the dilemma I have faced in the past few months.
Over time, I have learned to listen to my body, to know when to stop if I feel that the tour becomes too demanding, to learn how to recover so that it gives the desired results and to understand what I need in terms of nutrition, vitamins, medications. That is why, since the winter of 2023, I have not had to take any anti-inflammatories and I am glad that I have learned from the experiences of the past in this regard.
But how do you fully realize when your mind is tired? Do you know when to take a break because you can’t focus properly, when your level of ambition drops or when your desire to play is no longer there? How long does it take for your mind to relax and return to full capacity and, above all, how do you do that?
These were the questions I was asking myself at the beginning of July, after a half-season busier than ever: in the first 6 months of this year I had played 14 ITF tournaments and 10 team matches in the championships of Germany, Italy and France.
At this time, after the best result, so far, of the season – semi-final (after qualifications) at WTA 50 Troisdorf / 22 WTA points, at the beginning of June – I felt that things were not going as they should.
Although I was fighting and the technical executions were there, I was no longer taking the right decisions during the match, especially in the important moments. Besides, I no longer had the same joy with which to warm up, practice, prepare for my match.
Tourist in Kassel – Wilhelmshöhe Castle, Hercules Monument
So, my team and I looked for solutions. After missing out on the main draw at W50 Aschaffenburg, a gap in my schedule opened up and I took two days off in nearby Kassel.
I knew that tranquility and nature were what I needed. An elegant apartment with a terrace, sunshine, a walk in the forest, a visit to Wilhelmshöhe Castle and the Hercules Statue seemed to have solved the problem, because I immediately got a good win against a promising young German, an important one for my 1st Bundesliga team’s – Luitspoldpark Munich – victory in Germany.
After that, I felt more relaxed, but it wasn’t enough, because I still wasn’t enjoying what I was doing as much as I had a few weeks ago.
The excessive desire for more good results triggered quite the opposite effect of what was desired, due to the pressure I had put on myself. It’s just that this situation is difficult to avoid – even with over 10 years of active circuit experience, as is my case – because the routine of traveling and the adrenaline during tournaments are hindering you from immediately realizing what is happening to you.
Two tournaments followed in Morocco with defeats in the third set – therefore frustrating – both in the round of 16, the first against a young host player, who would play both finals (the second one, won, without losing a set in the tournament), plus another disappointment in the first round at W15 Otopeni.
Consequently, there was also a drop in the ranking for me, due to the points I had to defend those weeks.
I still hadn’t found the solution to this situation. A state of mental exhaustion, a burnout, which was generating even greater pressure that I was involuntarily imposing on myself.
I had to get out of this vicious circle, and I could call for another vacation only in the second half of September, according to the reservations I had already made.
Playing on the ITF circuit, at the 4 tournaments mentioned below
As a result, I gritted my teeth, and decided to do “what I learned” – as the Romanian saying goes – that is, play. And I recovered to some extent. I played three tournaments in consecutive weeks and one more after the holidays [W35 Braşov, W50 Slobozia and twice W75 in Bucharest]. The balance was now a reasonable one – 39 WTA points (4+11+12+12) – which brought me the best place after the series of injuries in 2023 (i.e. from May 2023 onwards): 464 WTA.
I also played some good matches: I won – after losing the previous week – against Ilinca Amariei. I beat three higher ranked players, it is true, Sapfo Sakellaridi (387), after she retired, but she would become champion in the doubles event, at the same tournament, together with Oana Gavrilă. I also stopped the young and eager to assert herself, Briana Szabo.
I was also angry, because I did not succeed more against Arantxa Rus (129, former 41 WTA / 2023). If the match had been played on clay, maybe I would have made a better impression, but since it was moved to indoor hard due to rain, I only managed a decent first set.
All in all, I got out of the slump by playing, banishing my harmful thoughts, the ones that caused unnecessary pressure. A kind of “fight fire with fire”.
The presence of my coach, Vlad Cătălinoiu, at the tournaments in Bucharest was of great use to me and made me realize once again how well the coach’s presence at matches is reflected in the game.
Of course, the holiday in Albania, via Corfu (between the two Bucharest tournaments), together with my best and oldest friend, just before her wedding, where I was maid of honour, changed completely my state of mind.
In conclusion, I learned it, again, firsthand how complicated it is to divide yourself properly between tournaments, practice and the moments of relaxation.
In the end, the important thing is to listen to your mind, your body and, regardless of what decision you take, to be at peace with it and to eliminate the feeling of guilt when you take a break.
Because, any of the options – active break (with practice), further tournaments, vacation or even a succession of these – can be the right one, but the player must feel what is best for him.
Moreover, for a player my age – I will be 30 in March – the situation is even more complicated. At every negative turning point you ask yourself if the time has come to let the racket rest, not to mention that you hear – louder or more quietly – the choir of some “benevolent” people, who advise you to give up, if you are still playing on the ITF tour at this age, and to start a “real job”.
But the pleasure I still have for tennis, for competition, the encouragement of those close to me, drives me to continue until the moment my body and mind give me the command: Stop!
While I have been talking about my Romanian colleagues – as I have done in the past – I really want to highlight here the exceptional progress of Ruxandra Bertea, runner-up at W75 Bucharest (September 29 – October 5) and W50 Slobozia (September 1-7). Aged only 19, she has progressed this season from 698th WTA to 329th. I know her quite well – she even beat me in the quarterfinals at Slobozia, and to be honest, I haven’t really managed to disturb her. She stands out with her tremendous passion for tennis, translated into hard work, which she always does with pleasure.
I wish her to make the right strategic decisions in her career, so that she can reach top 100 as quickly as possible, because from there on everything becomes possible.
For me, the Romanian National Team Championships are coming up – I have since transferred to Rapid (on the most popular sport teams) –, three weeks of training and then back in the USA, with three tournaments scheduled in November. Towards the end of the year I will play in the Swedish National Team Championships.
I will try to keep you updated on all of this, within the limits of the mental energy – because I have already talked about this – that I will have, which will I hope will be enough to allow me to update the blog as well.
